For seventeen years of my life, I suffered with severe back pain. During that time I can’t remember a day going by that I did not experience pain. In 2005 I underwent surgery for my back with the hope that it would relieve my pain. Unfortunately, the surgery brought no relief.
I had Pastors, family, friends, and anointed men of God pray for me. I even attended healing crusades hosted by a very well-known international healing evangelist. But God did not heal me. I became despondent and depressed at times. I could not understand why God had not healed me.
On 10 May 2017, I remember lying awake in my bed in the early hours of the morning, pleading with God for mercy.
“Then, in your desperate condition, you called out to God. He got you out in the nick of time.” Psalm 107:6 (MSG)
On the 12 May 2017, while attending a workshop, God brought to my memory an incident which happened while I was at school. I always thought that the incident did not have a negative effect on me. As years went by, I would share with others how different my life could have been had I allowed that incident to determine my future.
Coming back to the incident. My elder brother was 2 years ahead of me at school and a straight A student. I on the other hand, just about scraped through school. One day while sitting in the classroom in Grade 9, my teacher made a comment. She said to me, “You are not like your brother. You will never achieve anything in life.” Back then, like most teenagers; I shrugged it off, at least that is what I thought!
“You are not like your brother. You will never achieve anything in life.”
I could not understand why God was reminding me of this incident 20 years later. I allowed the Holy Spirit, to reveal the impact of the words spoken over my life by my teacher. That was when I realized it did have a negative impact on my life. In fact, God went on to show me how with those words echoing in my subconscious, I disqualified myself by not wanting my father to pay for my studies. This decision not only impacted my studies, but ultimately altered my career path.
On the morning of 13 May 2017, while spending time in God’s presence, I reflected over my life and comparing it to my brother’s life. Then I said to God, “But I am not worse off than my brother.” God’s response to me was, “You see yourself where you are, I see you where you should have been”. Then He led me to forgive the teacher for what she had spoken over my life.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes
I now understand the above quote by Lewis Smedes. That day I thought I was setting the teacher free, when in fact, that day God set me free. That day was the last time I experienced any back pain. I now know what it is like to live without back pain.
I don’t know what you are going through, I don’t know what challenges you are facing. But I can assure you that God has not forsaken you. If He did it for me He can do it for you.